Why It's Okay to Reach Out for Mental Health Help (and How to Use Talking Therapies)
By Byron Wattass, Clinical Psychologist in Training
Let’s be honest: Navigating your gender identity is a big deal, and it’s okay if that journey feels really heavy sometimes. Whether you're dealing with constant anxiety, feeling super low, or just completely burned out from waiting for support or dealing with the world, you don't have to manage all that stress on your own.
‘Talking Therapies’ is a free space for those over the age of 18, within the NHS where you can talk to someone who's trained to help you build up your emotional toolkit. It's for the everyday mental health stuff like anxiety, worry, and feeling down.
If you’re in England, you can usually contact ‘Talking Therapies’ directly (it’s called self-referral) by googling your county and the abbreviation ‘IAPT’.
Making the First Move
Find Your Quiet Corner: When you fill out the online form or call them, don't do it when you're rushing or upset. Pick a time when you can be calm and focused. You’ll need to clearly explain why you're seeking help, and that's always easier when you have a bit of peace.
Lead with Your Feelings: The main focus of ‘Talking Therapies’ is to treat things like anxiety, depression, and stress. When you are asked why you need support, focus on those feelings first. You can say things like, "My anxiety is overwhelming," or "I've been feeling low and isolated."
Your Story, Your Control: You don't have to launch into a full life history, unless you want to. If your anxiety is linked to being misgendered, social dysphoria, or the stress of waiting lists, it's totally okay to mention that those things are adding to your mental load. But remember, you get to decide how much you share, and when.
In the Therapy Room
You're the Expert: Whether you go via the NHS or opt to go privately, you might meet someone who hasn't worked with many trans or non-binary people. That's okay, it doesn't mean they can't help. If they use the wrong name or pronouns, take a deep breath and gently correct them. Any good professional will thank you for guiding them toward being respectful.
The ‘Fit’ Matters: If you feel like your therapist just isn't clicking with you, that's ok. Therapy is personal. It's perfectly fine to ask the service if you can switch therapists or talk to the manager about your concerns. You have to feel safe and heard for this to work.
Pace Yourself: This isn't a race! You don't have to fix everything in your life in the first few sessions. Therapy is about small, consistent growth. It's okay to talk about one small issue at a time and slowly build the coping skills you need over weeks or months.
Write It Down: If you struggle to talk in the moment, try writing down three things that are causing you the most stress and three coping skills you want to learn (like practical ways to handle a panic attack for example). This keeps the conversation focused and makes sure you cover what you need.
Taking It Further
Don't Isolate Yourself: Therapy is a fantastic resource, but it’s not the only one. Keep leaning on your trans friends, local youth groups, and online communities. Those connections are vital for feeling seen and understood.
Commit to the Practice: Therapy only works if you actually use the tools you are given. You're making a huge investment in yourself, so commit to trying the techniques, like breathing exercises or challenging negative thoughts, even when you're outside of the session room.
Seeking help is an act of self-love. You deserve to feel lighter and safer.
If you would like to chat to a member of our team get in touch.
